If you were to sum up the role of a parent into one
sentence, how would you do that?
Solomon, the wisest man in the Old Testament, said it this way: “Train
up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old, he will not depart
from it” (Proverbs 22:6). The great prophet and law-giver Moses put it
this way: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your
soul, and with all your strength and these words which I command you today
shall be in your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your children” (Deuteronomy 6:5-7a). In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul
combined these two thoughts in this way: “And you, fathers, do not provoke your
children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the
Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Not that I believe that I could do a better job of this
than three of the greatest men to ever live as they were inspired by the Lord
Himself, but I would like to offer some of my own thought to this. The role of parents is to appropriately
discipline their children so that their children can appropriately discipline
themselves. The idea is that parents
train their children to be ever-maturing Christians. This is a responsibility parents take on even
before their firstborn is born and a responsibility which will last for the
rest of their lives.
You know, when you step back and look at it, there is a
delicate balance here. On one side, a
parent is always training their children (Deuteronomy
6:7b-9). But, on the other side, a
parent is training their children to not need their training any longer (Proverbs 22:6).
With all of this said, there is a problem which arises in
many homes regarding this delicate
balance. The problem is that their
homes are out of balance; either the parents are not always (or ever) training
their children or their children never mature to the point of self-discipline. Whichever way it is out of balance, this is a
huge problem because this is NOT what God wants.
A reason for both sides of this imbalance is that many
parents today follow the philosophy of the day.
Parents are supposed to be helpers, helping their children do what they
can’t do for themselves (i.e., providing basic necessities and training until
they can provide for themselves).
However, instead of this, many parents choose to be enablers (i.e.,
doing for them what they can and should do for themselves). (And, please understand, I’m talking about a parent’s
general approach to child-rearing and not special occasions). This is the problem and this is why we have
so many physical adults who are mental, emotional, and spiritual children.
Friends, children should
and must mature in various ways because
this is what the Lord expects of them (Luke
2:52); this doesn’t happen by accident, but with the diligent training done
primarily by their parents. They need to
learn to bear their own burdens or, as we might say it today, carry their own
weight (Galatians 6:5). They need to learn to be earnest workers (1 Corinthians 4:2; Colossians 3:23) and not lazy bums who should be ashamed of their sinful
laziness (2 Thessalonians 3:10-15). And, friends, children cannot learn what they
need to learn if their parents are enabling them.
So, never enable your children, but “bring them up in the training
and admonition of the Lord.”
And, if you realize that you have been enabling your children, then do
something about it today; stop enabling them and start being the parent God
wants you to be. May God bless us all in
our striving to do His will with all of our hearts in all things.
~Curtis Carwile
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